


Ciel Phantomhive: Fear

by TastingLatte



Series: Feelings: A Series of One-Shots [5]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Adult Ciel Phantomhive, Fear of Death, Feelings, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8114734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TastingLatte/pseuds/TastingLatte
Summary: Ciel has always feared something since he was kidnapped... and he sometimes thinks about it too much.Part of the Feelings: A Series of One-Shots Series that explore the feelings and emotions of the Phantomhive staff.





	

 

FEAR

There weren't many times when Ciel thought about his mortality. He was, in some ways, a typical teenager. Typical, almost. A few oddities thrown in to make sure to remind him he was very far from typical.

First, he was rich. Like really, really, rich. He owned twelve manufacturing companies, each with its own product line, some for his food business, some for his toy company, and the latest was for woman's fashions. Each of his ventures were successful, and were expanding. He had just opened trade agreements to America, and Australia. The Phantom Company was growing in England. The best seller, the Phantom Bunny, was the accessory of choice for new mothers all over, and he had a few investors wishing to introduce other animals. He thought the Phantom Cat was the oddest proposal; his cat-crazed butler thought it was a smashing idea.

Second, he was engaged to a wonderful woman. Not really high on the oddity list, but he had been engaged to her since they were 8. For the past 11 years they had grown up together and had found a balance between being friends, family, and lovers. He still thought it was the height of scandal when Lizzie slept over in the house, without her parents, and in a bedroom a few rooms from his. Of course it wasn't really too bad if they met in the adjacent bedroom and kissed and made-out. He didn't see it as breaking the "no sex before marriage" rule Lizzie's parents insisted on. He would always smirk when they reminded him; they had nearly made love twice already.

Third, he employed odd servants. Each had a dark past, and each was still haunted by it, in various degrees. Ciel didn't think much of it, since he too had a dark past. He had been kidnapped on the night of his 10th birthday, the night his parents were murdered and his childhood home burned to the ground. He had been held captive, sold, gawked at, and lusted after for three long months, his demeanor changing as he became more and more forlorn, and finally, in a cry of utter pain and desperation, had found the one thing that answered the most desperate plea for saving and destruction.

The last odd thing that made him very far from typical tycoon who was used to being served: his butler was a demon. A real demon. Sebastian was the only thing that came from the darkest part of his past, and was the only light in his future most days. Ciel had exchanged his very soul for the pure delight that the demon executed with precision and perfection: the revenge of his utter loss of his childhood. Sebastian had stamped his soul for taking, sealed their contract by defacing his right eye, and had sworn allegiance to him as he assisted in finding the men who had changed his life on the night of his birthday.

Ciel sighed and paced his office. It wasn't many times he thought about his mortality, until it was almost taken from him. A carriage accident, a misplaced gunshot, a deranged aunt. The normal things like choking on Bard's overly cooked chicken or runny sauce making his bathroom trips too frequent, didn't bother him. It was the blackness and darkness of the corners, of the spaces between, that made him hesitate. Made him look back to make sure a hand was not reaching out to take him. Not yet. Not so soon. Not really wanting to go at all.

But he had slipped and had said he wanted to find someone who knew about his kidnapping, and he had seen the sudden delight flash in Sebastian's eyes. So dangerous. So needy. So fear had dug deeper and Ciel had dismissed him, had fled, had walked the small blooming garden. He had walked the three greenhouses, wishing for a way to not enter the house, not be around his demon. Not be around his master and slave.

Ciel placed a hand on the glass and peered into the darkness. He swore it looked back into him. And he backed away. He wanted to live and see his marriage. He wanted to live and give Lizzie children. He wanted… so many things.

And the thought of mortality - loosing it so soon to a hungry, stalking, shadow - made Earl Ciel Phantomhive pause in his thoughts so many times during the day. In some ways he was the typical teenager, almost adult - but he had a demon, a contract, and a visible blemish that made him the oddest oddity in his household. And the very depths of the dark moments, when even the brightest light was shining on his staff, he would still cry out in fear as they looked at him, waiting, watching.

How would it consume him?

How would he end?

How would the feared blackness that he so effortlessly peered into everyday, finally snatch what was theirs?


End file.
